you get up and you get ready for work and you go to work and you sit at your desk and you say hello to your colleagues and you check your email and you respond to people who send you things and you think “oh maybe I can do this” but then your head starts to hurt and your office is either too hot or too cold and the people who call you are just a little bit too dumb to deal with and someone is just a little bit too short with you to be okay with and you think about something that has been bothering you - about money, or a friend you’re worried about, or the fact that you haven’t cleaned your bathroom for a while, and it just hurts, so much more than it should, so much more than it normally would. and then you just feel like you want to hide away from the world and never see or talk to anyone again, and you wonder where you went wrong and why you can’t control your finances, why you can’t fix everyone you care about, why you can’t just get off your arse and clean your fucking bathroom because you should be better than this.

and you’ve had this feeling before, and you know it will pass, but right now it feels like nothing is okay and you just need to get out and just be in the sunshine or something, because it just hurts.

basically i feel like that right now. and i’ve been feeling so good lately that it just feels so much worse, so much weaker